08 October, 2010

Dude... I don't care about your ex!

Okay, so,this is a topic that I didn't ever plan on discussing with anyone on any forum or any site, especially my blog... pretty much anywhere really. I try to stay away from subjects like these. But I'm going to.

There seems to be a crisis happening in our world lately. It has to do with taking responsibility for your choices and your actions.

I was reminded of this today when I happened upon a man while running an errand. We'll call him "Jon". Jon had obviously just ended an encounter with his ex. Whether by text or e-mail, I'm not sure, but it was obvious, because he was very much on the subject.

I didn't know this man. I had never met him before in my life. But we had a mutual friend to whom we were both speaking with. He told this friend about how his ex considered him a deadbeat dad. Hardly the conversation for such a public place, but I forgave him quickly because he was obviously very frustrated. He continued to say that it could not possibly be true because his son would not be held by his mother while in his father's presence. The child would throw a fit. The man thought this must be because the mother always talks badly about the father and the son, who is all of two years old, doesn't like his mother for it.

I tried to make light of the conversation by relaying to our mutual friend about how the Streaker had decided during the past few months to not talk or otherwise show any affection whatsoever to her father and how it was completely unprovoked and it made her father sad.

And there it was... my mistake. I had opened Pandora's Box. And when our mutual friend had gone to take care of something, I was left alone with Jon, and his ex was still on his mind. A LOT.

Long Story Shorter:

He went on about how he had taken over the job of planning his son's second birthday party (which men... I'm just gonna interrupt myself here and tell you this right now, because it needs to be said: "Most" women LOVE to plan. That's why we have baby showers, bridal showers, lingerie parties... we live to plan parties). Any way, to continue, he planned the whole party and then didn't show (!). Then he went on about how he told his ex that he should have went ahead and named their son what he wanted him named instead of "letting" her name him, whether she liked it or not (!!!). I smiled and listened, but inside my head I felt very sorry for his ex.

He then told me that he was not a deadbeat father and that he never sees his son because:
A) He works... okay, I can appreciate that, I suppose, I mean he has to pay child support somehow.

B) He has no ride... Ummm, okay.

And C) He does not wish to go into that part of town where his son lives because he may be tempted by demons from his past who live there.


There it is folks, the excuse. The excuse to shirk whatever responsibility he has toward that child. At this point, I had to excuse myself to conveniently go to the hospital and have something checked out. And thank God he also left the area. I was left feeling almost violated, on behalf of women everywhere... let me just say this.


Choose well.


Choose to either be in your child's life or out of it. NO child likes having a yo-yo parent.

If you choose to be in it, realize that it took two people to create that child. We know that you think you are all that and a bag of cheese puffs, but it took many long hours of labor and probably heavy drugs to get that child into this world. In No way, Jose, is it a privilege that is owed to you to name that child. Oh, Heck No!

And lastly, if you feel the need to go on and on... and on to a complete stranger about your lack of parenting abilities and your poor, poor ex that has to deal with you... FIND A THERAPIST!

Sorry folks, no question today, just releasing frustration.
Feel free to comment with your own thoughts or frustrations.


gypsy_jewels said...

Wow.....what sucks is this is not uncommon. What a douche!

SatinBlakKitten said...

That.... is teh suck.....
You handled yourself well, Moofer. I prolly would have said something completely off the wall to shock him into shutting up...

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