I am so glad that summer vacation is here. No more waking up at 6am and running around like a headless chicken looking for clean pair of underwear or that missing notebook. No more struggling to make sure the kids are in bed early enough for ample sleep before said early morning. No more stressing about missing the bus or worrying about the kids coming home with yet another complaint about the way X, Y, or Z treated them at school or on the bus that day. No more, just fun. And this year, we are planning to definitely work on our 365 list from a couple years ago.
Enjoying our season pass to the lake, compliments Girl Scouts of America, 2015.
For our family, it also means photo time. Photo shoots are just the start. The kids do tons of fun things in the summer that I can't wait to capture. Things like hikes, sports, playground, parks, camps... we fill our summer vacation right up. I think when my kids move out, they'll each have a whole bookshelf full of photo albums to go with them. I have so many ideas for what I want to do with these photos. My latest idea is to print out a canvas of each of the kids, then surround that canvas with smaller prints. Kinda like this, times 5:
Photo Via: MotherEarthNews.com
My hallway would look amazing!
Punky during a Girl Scout Photo Shoot after a day of pampering.
I think I'm definitely going to go with a quality printer for those canvases. I've tried out a few canvas printers and I think, although all of them were pretty nice canvases, that I'm gonna have to go with Fabness on this project. Fabness seems slightly better quality than others that I've tried, and they have constant deals going on. Just in the month or so since I've become an affiliate, I've seen at least 4 different deals for various days. I believe there was one for Memorial Day, one for Father's Day, a couple others for various things. These sales all run anywhere from 60-83% off! Right now, there is a sale for Father's Day for 70% off canvas prints with free shipping if you use the code DADSDAY2015. Make sure you use that code if you want the free shipping!
Baby Bee at the shed for a photo shoot, 2015.
After the winter finally ended this year, we were so excited to see grass that we decided to do a shoot. While doing the shoot, we tried some places that we don't normally use and we realized that the old shed out back makes an EXCELLENT prop. The spring shoot is the set that I am deciding to go with for my hallway canvas project. I need to take a photo of Boog to match the rest of the set, but for now I will work with what I have.
When I signed up for the Affiliate Program, I had the chance to receive a canvas for free to test out and tell people about. I decided to go with a photo of my oldest daughter, The Big One. It is one of my favorites of her ever taken.
The very first thing that I noticed, besides how quickly it came in the mail, was the awesome framing and canvas quality. It feels like the canvas itself is a thicker material than others. The frame feels more sturdy and less likely to break or weaken. There are 21 staples in all connecting the canvas to the frame. The canvas has care instructions printed right onto it so you don't have to hold onto a paper for forever or worry about forgetting how to take care of it.
The second thing I noticed was the level of detail. As I held it and looked at it, I noticed a strand of hair across The Big One's face that I didn't notice before, even while editing the photo. I also noticed one of those gross "sleepy seeds" in the corner of her eye that will forever bug me. Point is, the detail in a Fabness canvas print is amazing.
The next thing that I noticed was that the hanger was hanging from a baggie by a staple in the frame. It went in super easy with slight taps from a hammer. All you have to do is line up the little dot of the hanger with the middle marker line of the canvas to make sure everything is centered. As you can see, I didn't realize that and just eyeballed it. It's slightly off, but I just hang it from a different tooth.
Overall, I think that the canvas is definitely worth the purchase. The one I got was 10x15, usually $72. With the 70% off Father's Day sale, it is knocked down to about $21.60. I think any photo loving mom should check it out for sure. I'm so glad that I did!
Except for the product(s) given to me for the purpose of reviewing, I received no compensation for this post. All opinions are 100% my own.
DISCLAIMER: I received this product free in order to facilitate this review. All opinions are my own.
When The Big One was 14 months old, she knew how to talk, could point to pretty much every body part, and could do flashcards like no one's business. It wasn't long after that she could tell you every shape's name. I spent all my free time talking with her and teaching her. Now that I have 5 kids, I just don't have free tome anymore. Boog is 2 1/2 and doesn't know his colors yet, animal names, only just learned his sister's REAL names. He's not at all slow to learn, I just never think to teach him. When I do get the urge to help my kids learn new things, I like the concept to be fun and simple. With Baby Bee, we traced invisible letters with our fingers in the air. With Streaker, we wrote the alphabet every Sunday in the church pamphlet while the pastor did his morning welcome. I did different things with different kids, depending on what they liked.
When I was introduced to the Animal Game by Christine Alexandria, I thought the idea behind it was a pretty cute one. Farmer Johnson needs help finding his animals so that he can put them into the barn for the night. He asks you to help find an animal based on a couple clues about the animal. The clues are geared probably for a 3 year old, though the description on Amazon says ages 2-6. I think most 6 year olds would be too old for this book. However, my very newly 5 year old did enjoy this, even though it was a bit easy for her.
Baby Bee loves Piggies, so the first animal of the book captured her interest.
Boog found some animals, and couldn't find others. This book doesn't come in print that I can tell, but it is printable and can also be read at the computer, so we will go back to it often. It only takes a few minutes to read, which I love because even on busy days I can help him learn. Soon he will know his colors and animal names and even what sound they make. Boog and Baby Bee both liked the game quite well and Boog even threw a fit when I put the game away to work on some photo edits. He fussed until I printed a page of the book out for him, which he loved. I think this game book is kinda cute and definitely exciting for preschoolers. You can find The Animal Game HERE. Christine Alexandria also wrote the book A Trip Through Space, which you can find HERE. What fun learning games do you play with your kids?
Except for the product(s) given to me for the purpose of reviewing, I received no compensation for this post. All opinions are 100% my own.
DISCLAIMER: I received this product free in order to facilitate this review. All opinions are my own.
One thing that makes me super proud as a mom is how accepting my kids are of people's differences. They make friends with children of all ages, races, and abilities. We try to discourage stereotypes and appreciate people based on who they are, not who their family or friends are, etc.
Still, we have known people who are less accepting. I hope that my children are never influenced in any way to form prejudices. I find that life is so much less complicated when you just try to be nice to everyone, regardless.
I recently came across a book that I think does a good job at getting kids to think differently about labels. The book is called Let's Change That: If Animals Can, We Can Too! It was written by Dr. Bashar Salame, a chiropractor and married father from Michigan. It's about a cat, Felix, who wanders outdoors and stumbles upon a baby bird in need of help. Not to be one defined by harsh stereo-types, the cat decided to try to recruit help to save the bird. He even decided to try to convince a dog to break free of his own social "shackles" to help him! As it turns out, not everyone Felix asked to help was willing to jump out of the bystander role and help out. But as they soon learn, there wasn't really anything to be afraid of. Doing the right thing should never be scary.
When I asked Punk what she thought the book was about, she said that it was about friendship and teamwork. When I asked Streaker, she said that it was about changing the way things are normally done and helping others. This shows that even young children clearly get the message the book delivers.
The book is a great story and I'm glad my kids love it. What I really love about the book is the colorful and fun illustrations. I'm actually kinda super picky about the imagery in children's books, most just aren't "there" for me, but this book is beautifully done. I would kill for Rainer Osinger to do the illustrations in my own book. Okay, not really KILL. Maybe a mosquito. I'd kill a mosquito. Or an earwigs. I'm not much for killing. But, moving on... The only thing that I had a hard time getting past was that the dog is a girl. Every time it said "Bonnie", it took me a second to remember who Bonnie was because she just doesn't LOOK like a girl. But then again, this book is about breaking stereotypes, so I guess it doesn't really matter after all, does it? If you;re interested, you can find this book on Amazon HERE.
Except for the product(s) given to me for the purpose of reviewing, I received no compensation for this post. All opinions are 100% my own.
DISCLAIMER: I received this product free to facilitate this review, all opinions are my own.
I am super fortunate in that none of my kids have ever really teethed hard. They've fussed a little, chewed a little, drooled a little... one in particular drooled a LOT. But there was no uncontrollable crying and sleepless night involved. Lord knows, I don't need any less sleep. I did try teething medication a few times and I tried teething pendants (loved that). I looked into natural teething tablets, but the thought made me a little leery. I have a ridiculous paranoid fear of the baby choking on said tablet. But the idea of a natural medicine was something I liked.
Recently we tried Baby Orajel Naturals Nighttime Teething Gel. We were drawn to that natural aspect. And for the sake of experiment, I tried it myself having some pain of my own. It was nothing major, but my tooth hurt a bit. Granted, tooth pain isn't quite the same as gum pain from protruding teeth, but it was pain all the same and teething gel always helped. To be honest, I was a bit unimpressed by the lack of pain relief. There was none. Obviously, it's a baby product and I didn't expect it to work as well as the regular stuff, but I was curious why I felt no change at all. So I checked the label. I found that the only active ingredients are there to help the tooth form (which is great for helping that tooth finally cut though), and help with restlessness and irritability. There was nothing for pain relief that I saw, I even researched the ingredients themselves and saw nowhere that they helped with actual pain. I hate to say it, but I think this gel is more to help the parent feel better than the baby. I think after reading the ingredients that I would actually feel bad using this and knowing that I'm helping my baby be calm and act better, but not helping them FEEL better. And just in case I'm reading into this wrong or that one of these ingredients actually does help with pain and I'm just unaware, here's the label for you to check out yourself (you may need to click on it to enlarge). If I'm wrong, please correct me:
I will say that it didn't taste terrible like most teething gels, so that's a big plus. And I've read testimonies from parents who love the Naturals line, like these ones, so judge for yourself:
Baby Orajel Naturals Nighttime Teething Gel uses Chamomile, used since ancient times to fight off insomnia, and Passion Flower, used to help fight off nervousness and soothe the baby and help it fall sleep easier. I think having this in a teething gel is a great idea and could probably be used for times that the baby isn't even really teething if baby's having a restless night. I think that I would possibly use this in addition to a frozen wash cloth or other form of pain management if I were using it for teething and likely not use it by itself. What about you? Have you tried it out? What do you think? I'm interested to know! Except for the product(s) given to me for the purpose of reviewing, I received no compensation for this post. All opinions are 100% my own.
DISCLAIMER: I received this product free to facilitate this review, all opinions are my own.
I don't often stray from my music comfort zone. When I do, it's usually by chance or someone asks me to listen to something and it's never really spurred on by choice. What is my comfort zone, you might ask? I'm super predictable and prefer the Top 100 type artists like Meghan Trainor, Bruno Mars and the like. There are some songs and artists that I like despite not fitting into my comfort zone. Metallica for instance, some of their songs I heard so much growing up that they almost have a nostalgic, calming affect on me now. Same goes for The Four Seasons - Oh, What a Night. Love that song.
I didn't know what to expect when I read that Lucid 8 creates music that can be categorized in all genres. On another site, I read that they have a high energy rock sound, which I thought could be cool. I went in with my mind completely open with no expectations, good or bad. The first track, Normalcy Bias actually had a bouncy beginning that reminded me a bit of Chocolate Rain by Tay Zonday, but quickly became harder. It didn't become harder in a way that made it hard to listen, but in a way that wasn't over the top.
Other tracks had parts reminiscent of Eddy and the Cruisers, Jet, and Creed, among others, though fully original at the same time. There is definitely a few tracks that I really like, even though it isn't comfort-zone music for me. I think my favorite track is Pieces, a song about the love of a parent, something that I can definitely relate to. And do you know what I love the most about the album? I could be wrong, but I don't think there are any cuss words in it. In fact, in one song, the f-word was replaced with... "F", as in "F-this, F-that". It's music that you can be okay with your kids listening to! That is a HUGE bonus for me, and actually, for most parents that I know. I can see my nephew listening to it, as well as my husband and brothers. Over-all, it isn't really my kind of music, but it's something I would listen to, especially certain songs. Here's a song from their Lucid 8 Album, called Run just to get an idea of what their sound is like:
If you're interested in checking out their music, you can find them on Amazon. Except for the product(s) given to me for the purpose of reviewing, I received no compensation for this post. All opinions are 100% my own.
DISCLAIMER: I received this product for free in order to facilitate this review, all opinions are my own.
Every once in a while, I come across something that's so awesome that I just have to tell people about it. Things like Easy Peasy All-In-One Homeschool, an entire curriculum for the whole year offered free online. That was an awesome find. Or the Cuddle On Inn that holds an insane amount of stuffed animals so that they aren't underfoot, also super cool and share worthy. Truth be told, I like most of the products I try, I'm not hard to please. But I'm also not super easy to impress, I don't love them all by any means. But this one... this one I LOVE. Love, love, love. LOVE. What is it? NeuroBeats, sound tracks that help you sleep just be listening to them before bed! Before I really dig into it, let me first tell you that I am NOT a heavy sleeper. I wake at every noise. People can whisper to me and I wake up, it's actually something that I am pretty proud of. It makes it easy to wake up without an alarm and before trying NeuroBeats, I hadn't been late waking the girls up at 6am with no alarm for weeks. Although, it also means that I wasn't getting ample rest. It was irritating to wake 10 times just in a matter of a few hours. Luckily, I do hit REM sleep almost instantly so I can get a manageable amount of rest even with constantly waking. But it isn't GOOD rest. I am left feeling tired by afternoon and with no coffee, I will be back to sleep by mid-morning.
When I read about NeuroBeats: Sleep Better helping you sleep uninterrupted just by listening to it for a half hour before bed for a couple weeks, I was totally intrigued. The idea of sleeping an not waking, it was unimaginable. I haven't seen those days since I was a teenager. I asked to try it and was pretty excited when I was allowed to test it out. The science behind it all has to do with the brain's response to the beats in the audio, the binaural beats. To be honest, I didn't really find much about the actual science behind it from the NeuroBeats site itself besides some quotes about the studies done with it. I had been told that it would be easy to find, so that was slightly disappointing. But have no fear, I researched it a little for you. Binaural Beat Therapy is here today thanks to the discovery of binaural tones, discovered in the late 1800's by Heinrich Wilhelm Dove. In the late 1900's, an alternative medicine community claimed that using these beats could help induce relaxation, meditation, creativity and other mental states, depending on the difference of the frequency in the beats from ear to ear. Based on the goal of Sleep Better, I'm assuming that the difference is frequency is below 10Hz, where it is most optimal for help in sleep. Now let me warn you... when I first downloaded it, I was eager to hear it and had no headphones, so I played it aloud at my computer aaaaaaaand I may have had threats against my life to turn it off. Okay, not really. But it did ignite a strong irritation among most members of the house. The sound kinda makes you want to hurt something, like really hurt something. Here's a sample so you can see what I mean. Imagine the background noise, the one that sounds like a low wine glass hum, now imagine that's the only noise. That's the whole first track, I kinda recommend skipping it. It wasn't my favorite one, although I think I tolerated it better than everyone else. The second track was worse in my opinion. The rest of the tracks are ones that you could mentally tune out eventually.
So why, if the sound makes me homicidal, would I love this album? Because it works!!!! In a world full of shady products and false promises, this one works. The very first night that I tried it, I slept so much better! I only awoke 3 times and it was a sleepy half-awake type thing. I didn't wake up 'til 6:45 and the girls barely made the bus. Since then, I have woken up late for school many times, completely missing my 6 o'clock wake up, I slept that soundly. I didn't wake for my husband's alarm or when kids moved in the night. I just slept, real sleep, the kind where you don't wake up every 20 minutes.
Now, let me tell you that I am such a skeptic when it comes to anything subliminal. I hate when I can feel being manipulated into feeling a certain way and I don't ever want to depend on drugs for good sleep. I tried Benadryl once before when I was having side effects to a drug that caused insomnia. It worked great and served it's purpose, but I woke with a very dizzy feeling and I hated that, I don't like to feel like I'm "on something". The cool thing about NeuroBeats is that it's just sound. It's not a drug, it's not hypnosis or some other crazy expensive thing where you feel like you're being controlled, it's just sound. Sound that works.
Despite the maddening feeling that you may experience with some of the tracks, I absolutely HIGHLY recommend NeuroBeats for anyone who has trouble staying asleep. However, please don't use it if you have epilepsy, if you are overly sensitive to outside stimuli (for the love of Pete, please do NOT use this on children with Autism), or if you are driving, etc. Although it didn't personally make me drowsy, it can have that effect on certain people, so it's best to be safe.
The notion of wishing someone a "Happy" Memorial Day seems so strange, doesn't it? Most people who observe the holiday as it should be observed are remembering people who have passed and are no longer with us. I suppose though that bringing up those memories can bring up wonderful feelings and make you smile, even if longing and pain comes with them. This morning we went to a parade. Baby Bee decided last minute to stay home with Nanny. It was a very small parade, which made me feel a little sad, but people did turn out for it and it happened, which is the biggest thing. People chose to remember. Streaker was a bit upset that there was no candy as usual, but I reminded her gently that we went, not for the candy, but to show our respect and to honor the people who fought for our freedom. She didn't stay upset more than a moment. Most of the kids did receive a small flag to wave and they loved their token of patriotism. Boogie loved waving it and even waved at the Firemen as they drove by.
After we left, we went to the Maine Veteran's Memorial Cemetery to visit my grandfather's grave. My grandfather died of cancer when I was 6 1/2. I wish I could remember more of him, but I know that he was one of the good men. He served in Korea and was promoted to Master Sergeant before coming home. He was a wonderful grandfather who favored his pipe and card games, especially solitaire. He sang a lot and I remember sitting in his lap as he sang Ten Little Indians. My older siblings tell of how he would take 5 or 10 minute power naps with almost no warning, he'd just pass out, but I don't remember of it. I didn't cry at the hospital when he was leaving us, not that I can remember anyway, and I didn't cry when he passed. My sorrow came unexpectedly one day while looking at the dollhouse that he had helped make for my sister. It hit me that he wasn't coming back to finish it, he wasn't coming back at all. I remember parts of his funeral services. I remember them folding the flag, and I remember them giving the flag to my grandmother. I remember the song they played, In the Garden. I remembered so well where his grave was that years later as a young adult I was able to find it within a few minutes of looking, despite the immense number of graves. And more than a decade later, I was able to find it again. There will never be a decade between visits again. I don't have many memories, but I do remember those things, so I know that his passing impacted me greatly. We tend to remember those things that have the most emotional impact on us at the time. I was so blessed to have him in my life for the time I did. It saddens me that he was never able to know my children. He would have loved them so much, at least that's what my mother tells me. He loved babies.
So in honor of Memorial Day, we stopped in to show love and to leave our own flags that the girls brought from the parade. I forgot my debit card at home, so I couldn't grab flowers, but the girls improvised. It didn't occur to me until we were home that The Big One had her hat on while we were there, I'm so used to seeing her have it on that I didn't notice it at the time. Something tells me that Grampy would have wanted her to be herself anyway, and it in no way reflects the amount of respect that she has for soldiers of any kind who serve our country. She wants to be in the Army herself when she grows up, just like Great Grampy. I hope that everyone has had a wonderful day of remembering and honoring their loved ones and hopefully some time spent together with loved ones that are still here.
Disclaimer: This post is a sponsored post for Jammy Jams. I received a sample product to test in order to facilitate this review. All opinions expressed are definitely my own.
I was born in the 80's, late 80's actually. As such, I'm not super familiar with the style and trends of that decade. I mean, I know what they were, but there's not much about those years that I can really relate to. I was more of a late 90's kid, Hanson and all that. But if I could take just a couple things from the 80's and steal them for my own childhood, it would have been bangle bracelets, leg warmers, David Bowie, and Billy Idol. Don't get me wrong, as far as nostalgia goes, I definitely love me some 90's pop, but seriously... Idol's pretty timeless. How can you not love this:
Yup! I'll just let you gaze at that for a minute. Take in all the awesomeness. ... ... Done? Okay, so fast forward a few decades and most of us Idol fans probably have kids or maybe even grandchildren by now. Most Idol fans are probably at the age where kids seem to be crawling out of every corner of your life. Nieces, nephews, grands and even honorary ones that your friends and neighbors let you claim as nieces and nephews, they're everywhere. I know 3 people just this month who had new babies and more are coming in the next few weeks.
My Boog is just a little over 2 years old and Baby Bee turns 5 next week, so they're both pretty young still. Sometimes they have a hard time settling down. I usually put on a TV show to rot their brain a little and make them fall asleep, but it rarely works. (Joking about the rot thing... I put on educational documentaries, this week's theme... Egypt!) It mostly serves to keep me entertained until they do pass out. And in some cases, like last night, it will keep me so entertained that I stay up watching it until 3 and wake up way later than I should, resulting in a mad dash to the bus for my poor school kids. So maybe it's time to try something new. Insert lullabies, a classic kid-settling tactic. Better than lullabies? Billy Idol lullabies! Yeah, baby! Cause what could be better than falling asleep to a twinkly version of White Wedding? Yes, that's my favorite Idol song, mostly because of the movie The Wedding Singer. But luckily on Jammy Jam's Rock the Cradle there are 9 more tracks to boot. And they are all adorably awesome renditions of the original songs. I'm actually loving Dancing with Myself best, followed by White Wedding, Rebel Yell, and Be a Lover next best. They're stinking awesome.
Just so you can hear for yourself that I'm not being unjustly flattering towards the album, you can hear it below. Listen to #7, you won't regret it. It sounds like a multidimensional version of a wind up jewelry box song and you really can't help but feel entranced by it. I can picture it being played by one of the Baby Einstein characters on an xylophone while little cartoon sheep jump little white picket fences. Except you can sing along in your head to the rock version while the baby floats away to sleepy sheep land. Or if you're like me, you'll sing a totally new and bouncy version just for baby. Here's a track list for you to drool over:
1. White Wedding
2. Rebel Yell
3. Can’t Break Me Down
4. To Be A Lover
5. Hot In The City
6. Flesh For Fantasy
7. Dancing With Myself
8. Cradle Of Love
9. Eyes Without A Face
10. Catch My Fall
Ok, so this is where I let you know how to get your hands on one because why wouldn't you want to? You can get a copy of the full album on Amazon or Jammy Jams, or you can get it track by track on Google Play, or iTunes. Also, if you enjoy other types of music, there is plenty to suit your fancy on the Jammy Jams site. Artists like Eminem, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift and Ozzy are all paid honor in various tracks, along with tons more. As I type this, I'm bobbing my head to All About That Bass in lullaby form.
I definitely will be enjoying the lullabies with Boog and Baby Bee for quite some time to come, especially Baby Bee who can sing along to her favorite songs as she drifts off. I recommend checking them out, they'll be sure to have whatever music you're into. Except for the product(s) given to me for the purpose of reviewing, I received no compensation for this post. All opinions are 100% my own.
For those who don't already know, it might interest you to know that Amazon offers free ebooks all the time. These ebooks come in every category you could want. My favorite category: kids books, for no other reason except that I don't care to read for long on a screen. I've been introduced to this awesomeness by Amber at Become a Coupon Queen. She posts a new list of 10 free books every day on Facebook, I definitely recommend following her.
One of the books that she recently posted caught my eye and I thought it really sent a great message to all kids. It's a book about loving your pets unconditionally, no matter what little annoyances they might bring to the table. I especially love the idea of this book because of a post that I came across not too long ago listing all of the reasons that people bring their pets back to the shelter. One of the animals was returned for being a loud snorer. No joke, it was sad. I don't want my kids to ever grow up and find animals as replaceable as that. That's why Hooligan Magooligan Loves Her Pets stood
out to me. The book is written by Louise Lintvelt. She writes Goodnight, Sleep Tight: What a Wonderful Flight and Things You Might See Swimming Under the Sea, as well as many others. I suggest checking out her site if you get any of her books, which has kid art project ideas and audio tracks that go along with the theme of a few of the books she has written. This book is illustrated by Julie Sneeden, who has an impressive portfolio of beautiful illustrations on her site, and many other artworks also. Her art makes me want to read her other books.
The main character, Hooligan, reminds me a lot of Baby Bee, so of
course I am biased in how cute I think she is. She's got strawberry
blonde hair and bright blue eyes with piggies on her head... she's
pretty adorable. She lives in England, which of course is sure to give
the reader inside your head a very English accent, a little added
bonus. While the rhyming of the book and pet names do take some
getting used to, it gives a very clear message to kids that it's the
cool thing to love your pets for everything they are, even if they are
dirty or even almost snobby. Hooligan loves her fat, lazy cat as much
as her skinny playful night owl of a cat. She loves her mischievous
bone-hiding dog as much as her wet, muddy, water-loving dog. And they love her for loving them. This book doesn't only encourage unconditional love for family members, such as pets, but it also encourages the embracing of uniqueness and individuality.
I recommend this book to any family with young children who either have pets or are thinking about getting one. The lesson in this book can not be understated, even if you're not an advocate for animal rights. Everyone has less than desirable traits, but we all want to be loved, animals too. To get a feel for Louise Lintvelt as an author, check out this video of the book How Andrew Got His Spots, also illustrated by Julie Sneeden. For more Louise Lintvelt or Julie Sneeden news, their Facebook links are here: LouiseJulie Except for the product(s) given to me, I received no compensation for this post. All opinions are 100% my own.
So a neat little fact about me, neat as long as you're NOT me, that neat little fact is that I have felt sick to my stomach nearly every single day for over a decade. I remember sitting in the seat of my now-husband's truck waiting for him to finish mowing an elderly lady's lawn, and I was doubled over in agony, almost crying as I waited. The feeling was so intense that I remember biting his leather seats. I can still taste it. I said nothing because I didn't want him to feel rushed, I didn't want him to feel bad, and I didn't want the attention. I didn't know why I felt that way, but it was only the beginning. I started feeling sick every single day. I worried that I had TSS or some other totally preventable thing and that it was doing me harm, but too shy to go to the doctor, I lived with it. I started feeling that way at around 16 years old and have lived with it daily since, though I have learned to tolerate it for the most part. Some nights I wake several times and writhe in pain and sickness. Lately, almost every single shopping trip I take, I suffer silently as I scurry through the aisles and sometimes rush the kids out of the store and promise them that next time they can spend their money because next time I won't be so sick. I'm always sick when I go shopping, the motion as I walk up and down the aisles increases my discomfort. It always hits as soon as I pass through the store entrance and lingers long after we leave. I could probably count the number of days on both hands that I have been sickness-free since it started at 16 years old, I'm now almost 29. A week or so ago, I had an epiphany, one that I should have had long ago.... it's lactose intolerance. My mother and brother have it, but it never occurred to me that I would have it because milk and cheese (which bother them) didn't seem to bother me at all. See, I'm missing that crucial problem solving, connection making pathway in my brain that helps relate cause and affect... it's an issue for me. Had I had that pathway, it would have let me connect the bad feeling to the foods I was eating just beforehand. But after this epiphany, I've started purposely watching how I feel with what I eat. Yogurt is BAD, milk is okay, cheese is okay, M&M's and other milk chocolate treats are doable in moderation if I don't mind feeling "off", everything else that's non-dairy is pretty much okay to eat so far, but I'm still testing. I'm purposely putting off the sour cream test because I don't want to say goodbye to that one. But, problem solved, definitely lactose intolerance. The reason I've been getting sick during every shopping trip lately... the coffee with creamer that I get while in town before hitting the stores.
So long story made short: I'll be adding some restrictions to my new weight loss plan. First thing is to cut the amount of coffee. I love the taste of coffee, but I really only drink it to stay awake. Tea has caffeine too. I've downright hated tea for years, but after discovering my intolerance, I decided to try tea in iced form and realized that I actually love it. Who knew, me... a tea lover! Second thing is to drink more water. This is hard because I never drink for thirst, I drink for taste just as I eat for taste. I love how things taste. So remembering to drink water will be hard. Third, I need to cut out mayonnaise and yogurt unless lactose free. Because why would I want to feel that way if I know I don't have to? Feeling better will lead to improved mobility. No more staying in bed all day to avoid the sickness I feel when I move about. And Fourth, though not diet related, I need to increase my activity level. I'm gonna try to take the family to a nearby track and see how rollerblading/ walking/ biking as a family goes. Walking a mile or two a week is a drastic improvement from where I am now and would serve to open the gateway to more activities in the future. When I was at my thinnest, I walked many miles each and every day. How I miss living in-town. You'll be interested to know that I do have a starting weight. Sad to say, I'm not 178 like I thought, but 188. 12 pounds away from the 200 mark. I refuse to cross that milestone, kind of like when I refused to cross the 20 year old mark, only this time I'm serious. At this point, regardless of how I felt about being classified as obese before, I am now actually becoming unhealthy and I AM in that obese range. I've gained 30 lbs in the last 5 months. I wake each morning with tingling hands, even when I haven't been sleeping on my arms. When I sit up too quickly, my chest aches and tightens. My hips ache if I lay too long on one side or if I sit cross legged for too long. My face flushes now when I've always had very low blood pressure before, I haven't gone in for important, life-saving medical tests because of the shame over my weight, which could lead to undetected cancer or heart disease... I just can't bring myself to make an appointment knowing that my body would be exposed to other people, even knowing the risks. Not to mention the toll on my mental and emotional health. The disappointment in myself for getting so far off course is a heavy burden to carry. But I have resolved to do this, this is my mission, my journey. This year is my year.
So tomorrow when I wake, I will have a lactose-free yogurt, some toast and some iced tea and I will do better than today. And the next day I will do better than tomorrow and that is all I will ask of myself. Some day I will look back at this day and thank God that I pushed through. I will not look back on this day and wish that I had, because wishing that I had has never gotten me anywhere and regret makes for terrible company. So, 140, here I come!
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